Argument: Kids have been getting drunk for years; Four Loco nothing new

Issue Report: Ban on caffeinated alcohol drinks


Washington Beer Blog. Seattle PI. Nov 18th, 2010: “We’ve all heard the recent news about Four Loko, the highly alcoholic, caffeinated beverage-of-choice for people looking for a shortcut to inebriation. In case you’ve been living in a proverbial cave, here’s what happened. A bunch of college kids got wasted, not using beer bongs and Schlitz Malt Liquor, but using something called Four Loko. Some of these kids, including some underage drinkers, ended up in the hospital. That’s a drag, really it is; however, those college students did much more than simply get sick and wasted at a party. They let the cat out of the bag.

You see, until that party in Roslyn, nobody knew that college kids like to get wasted. It was a well kept secret that many coeds are on a mission to find the shortest route to hammertown. Furthermore, nobody knew that there were very strong, caffeinated alcoholic beverages on the market. Somehow the fact that these candy-flavored potent potables were available at every convenience store in the entire state eluded the authorities. In the wake of the Rosyln Affair, the State Liquor Control Board (no doubt pressured by people who get elected for a living) issued an emergency ban on caffeinated alcoholic drinks.

Washington is not alone. New York issued a similar ban. The FDA is launching an investigation. Blah, blah, blah.

I’m not saying that this was a ridiculous, politically motivated knee-jerk reaction, but… No wait, that’s exactly what I’m saying. If you want to impose a ban on caffeine-laced, high-alcohol, low-cost, candy-flavored alcoholic beverages that’s fine, but do it with purpose and thought. Don’t do it just because Bambi came home from a frat party in a shopping cart. That kind of stuff happened long before Four Loko ever hit the market and it will happen long after Four Loko is gone.”